Talking to the Fly on Your Wall..

Still Buzzing Along...

2009-05-17T18:49:00.001-07:00

I've stayed around the same dump for a while and I admit it has been quite cozy for this little bug. I have no plans of flying to a new pile of crap any time soon. I was enjoying the company of a wonderful little horse fly for a while but it wanted a fly closer in species and I again am searching for companionship. I admit to being a bit down lately, even angry at the world. This fly is lonely and has been going through a lot. I sense that there is good on the horizon though. I can feel it in my antennae and I will try to drag all six legs through this. Maybe the irridescents on my thorax don't shimmer the right color but there is bound to be some fly somewhere who's compound eyes will be able to see the positives this little buzzer has to offer. Hope you're all still buzzing along well and I'll try to get back posting here more often again.

..Taking Flight Again..

2008-09-03T18:45:00.000-07:00

..I've moved again..this time it seems more permanent (at least for a minimum of six months). The other flies I was residing with weren't able to keep up with there part of the pile of stool we'd landed on. This fly however has landed on something a little more fragrant and lovely and is trying to think positively.. It has even purchased its first canvas since it moved back to NJ other than the one for a special commission it did in December. It knows it will do art in this new place...It can feel it. It has not found a special fly but that does not mean it doesn't feel special. It is learning new things about being the fly it is and is flying outside of its fear box. It has taken on responsibilities it never thought it would have the bravery to face again and while that doesn't mean the flies not shivering on its six legs, it's taken the view point of it being better to do what its afraid of than do nothing and become stagnated by its fear. So here goes...It's buzzing a little quieter than it used to but its going to buzz farther...

Fly in Distress....

2008-07-17T21:48:00.001-07:00

The Fly is agitated. Its been buzzing from place to place in search of a new home and while it may have found its landing ground, it has not found that special insect to share its free time (not that there's much of it). It has however had meaningless nights, growing pains, and quite a bit of rejection. Apparently something about the way it buzzes isn't quite good enough for the rest of the swarm. Trying not to be discouraged it continues on its path, making the most of the walls its had the luxury to land on. There have definitely been times its felt like its barely missed the swatter but it keeps truckin' none the less. Admittedly its self esteem has taken a hit, but it knew it was going to have to go through a lot. Its wings have weathered a lot over the past few years of storms and there aren't too many other insects that's antenna can pick up anything other than the knowledge that something isn't quite right about this particular fly and perhaps they should buzz off before they find out what that is. That's ok though. ...The fly will keep flying:)

Keep Flying!!!

2008-03-16T20:59:00.000-07:00

....I wonder how much effort is put into the game of suitor chasing for flies? ..You find a female, her abdomen glistens just the right shade of teal.. her buzz is enchanting...and even the way she regurgitates on that delicious carcass for two..sigh..you can't keep your compound eyes of her! .. but you show a little interest in making her your only fly and it "buzz off!"... You're left wondering whether or not you should play the swarm a bit more... sow your wild oats a bit more so to speak.. I mean, if that kind of confidence is so attractive, maybe you should just start seeing a few different flies and then you wouldn't worry as much......... but then you remember..you've tried that before.. and yes, you might tickle a few antennas in your search, but inevitably it leaves you empty and you meet another gossamer winged beauty that you're really interested in and all you want is her... the meaningless mating with those other's is nothing to you..............and the moment that feeling occurs to you..right at that very moment...you loose half your appeal to that beauty you'd now take as your own.... Its seems almost cruel the way it works...but if you've got you head and thorax on straight you can just grow from it and not let it discourage you from getting back out there and enjoying the company of like-minded insects until you find that one you can really see yourself buzzing into the sunset with.... Keep flying little flies!!!

Flies Don't Do Winter Well.....

2008-01-25T14:56:00.000-08:00

...well, actually, flies don't do winter at all..at least as far as I know. What I do know, is that I feel like half of the time I've been here in NJ I've spent sick..and frankly..I'm tired of it!.. Growing up in Florida, even when it was a bad winter it didn't last very long. All of the other blissfully warm flies and I spent our days fanning our wings in the 75degree sun and buzzing around barbeques trying to figure out how to sneak under the fly nets..mmmm... grilled cheeseburgers.. so yummy.. my acid reflux diet doesn't really allow for that anymore, but I find a good turkey burger to be excellent:) .. Anyway, the point I was trying to make before I got distracted by food(and what fly doesn't) was that I'm quite tired of being sick and I would like to just be healthy now thank you.. I always think of those with chronic illnesses when I say things like that and I tell myself when I get the flu or a cold that I should be thankful thats all it is.... Though that really doesn't make me feel better as much as it just makes me feel guilty for feeling so bad!....But really, this flies going to buzz off to see if it can't find a puddle of cough syrup to slurp...

Romancing The Fly......

2008-01-12T17:14:00.000-08:00

... When a fly takes off into the world, it is given a short period to eat and reproduce. There is no seduction, no wondering if he rubbed her wings just right, and no wondering if she just used him for sex...of course she did..she's a fly and has just as short a life span for reproduction as he does. There isn't a lot of complication beyond that..lol..
....Now, humans are a different creature all together. You go on a date, then spend the whole week going through all the things you did that might have been a deal breaker..Then you go on another date, and again you castrate yourself over and over on all your mishaps and awkward moments (which of course didn't bother you at all at the time that you were love drunk and silly)...
...I wouldn't trade the flies romantic interludes for mine of course, and I'm a firm believer in "there's always more fish in the sea"..or " there's always more flies in the swarm" to be more accurate.. ... This fly will be romancing for a long time to come... Let the other bugs around the garbage heap beware, this fly is steppin' out!...lol...

The latest BUZZ....

2008-01-06T20:18:00.000-08:00

...Picture a happy little fly mischievously rubbing its two front legs together..determination in the vibrations in its abdomen ..lol...that's me right now... Had entirely TOO much fun over the holidays.. something my body is still paying for...and I have officially decided to stay in NJ. If I'm really serious about pursuing this art career than I need to live in a place I'm more likely to have the opportunity to show it and get attention. My art is somewhat on the erotic and fantastical side, so my little town in WV isn't exactly over accepting of it!..lol... but I love the little town and wish it the best of luck...but its time for the Fly to take off for some adventure!

The Fly is Stirring...

2007-12-25T22:19:00.001-08:00

...Life throws such interesting curve balls.. Just when you think you may settle something jumps up and says "Try This!!"..and your mind goes.." Why Not?!"...lol.. I'm considering moving back to the CITY..Jersey City that is..;) ... I've spent a lot of time in "HIDING" in WV and I think its time for me to regain my presence. .... Its always a bit nerve wracking though..Cities have such a different energy from the country, but at my age, I'm not sure I want to loose my chance to experience that energy while I'm still young and able to enjoy the ride... I want to enjoy the company of beautifully unusual people and let life happen..The Fly wants to buzz around a bit.. The wall is nice from an observatory point, but when something delicious is on the table, even the Fly can't resist coming in for a taste!...

Flies have Feelings Too...

2007-10-02T07:30:00.000-07:00

As many people do, I have started this Blogger site so that I could comment on a loved ones blog..... I will add my words to this over time and adapt it to be more suited to my blogging needs..lol...So feel free to be a fly on the wall or to comment on my future musings, but remember...Flies have feelings too!..